i don't like sucking hair
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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