he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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