I heard we made out
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
