FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
