You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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