I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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