If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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