I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
