It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
