yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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