it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
