so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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