We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I cut my penus on the lid.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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