Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
