so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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