omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There's always time for handjobs
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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