is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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