How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he was CRYING into my vagina
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
