What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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