I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
