Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
