check it out our google latitudes are spooning
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
