Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
