He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
pop tarts are not kleenex
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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