I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
