So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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