UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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