There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
