I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
