I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Hippo gnu deer
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
