dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
