My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
