it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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