To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
