i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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