you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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