some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize