id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
