Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
