he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
