Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
