No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
