dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
