I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
