CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
