Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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