is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
