so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
