i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
