my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
