Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
