After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
