I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
