We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
