Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
