he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize