I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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