i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
