Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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