just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
