Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
True strength comes from lack of pants
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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