yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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