everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
