my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
